It's Time

Time for what?  For me to start writing again.  I need it like I need air, and it's been years since I wrote anything other than notes to the school for my daughter.  So.  Welcome.

I had forgotten about the post I wrote here back in 2007.  Thank God Google remembers, or I would have set up a new Blogger account.

Instead, I just changed the name of the blog to reflect my life now.

I no longer wait tables, although I do fill in at a local place when they need help.  I love the work, and I love my customers.  But the hearing loss has taken it's toll and the job is more difficult that I can handle full time.  I now work as a merchandiser for a large company that services a route of stores.

I left the unhappy marriage in August, 2008.  I spent five years with my head in the sand in terms of his secret drinking.  And now, we like each other better than we had for many years before I left.  My daughter is 14, living with me full time, and I'm paying off the parental karma I earned back in the late 70s/early 80s.  Not funny.

I have a 20 year old son, too.  He stayed with his dad when I left and blames everything that is wrong with his life on me.  I cried for a long time over that.  I don't cry anymore - I did the best I could with what I had to work with.  This may also be part of that parental karma my mom said I'd have to deal with!  In any case, he works full time, has his own place, and he's doing okay.  I miss him, but after the verbal abuse I took from him in the last several years, I'm not offering myself up to be his scapegoat anymore.  He knows how to reach me, at any time.

I share a home with a man several years older than I am.  The generation gap is a challenge for us, but M (daughter) and I have a safe, beautiful home on 30 acres with a river running behind the house.  There are tensions at times, but it is good, overall.

Finding out who I am is a big priority now.  I've made huge strides in the last three years, but I gave up blogging shortly after I left the marriage.  Blogging kept me semi-sane for years.  I found like-minded people who understood me, and several friendships that continue in other areas of my life to this day.  It blesses me.

I can't tell you what to expect here, because I never know until my brain and fingers start moving.  I have a potty mouth at times.  Sometimes my fuse is short.  Sometimes I write of spirituality and my walk in that area of my life.  I am a Christian, but not a church goer - there is no church that fits me.  I love the Bible, but I love what Jesus taught more.  That is to say that I try to live as Jesus told us too, and I am not a huge fan of Paul's interpretation.  I do my "tithing" to local charities and shelters rather than to an organized church.

And I'm funny.  I can find humor in almost anything.  Ranting with humor saves me.

Scariest thing?  My daughter is just like me.  Heaven help us....

Peace.